Horror Movie Survival Tip #1

Every so often I will present you, my readers, with tips that if taken into consideration, could help you survive a horror movie, or a similar situation.  I like you guys, and don't want to lose any of you to a random act of slashing that could have been avoided.

Horror Movie Survival Tip #1

Never use so much bubble bath that you can't see the bottom of the tub.

See: Nightmare on Elm Street, Slither

A Total "Eclipse" of My Sanity

I have been joking recently that stress at work may cause me to lose my mind before the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Last night was the first sign that my psyche is waning - I watched "Eclipse".

Well, first I watched "Die Hard".  And after I watched "Super Troopers".

So I guess I am not a lost cause yet.

Or am I?

~ The Office Scribe

10 Things I Learned at the Chicago Marathon

1) While running 26.2 miles it a true test of endurance, a truer test of endurance is how long one can remain on a stalled "L" train, packed like a sardine with hundreds of tourists, before the pry open the doors and see how dangerous that third rail really is.

2) "Bloody nipples" is not just a joke made by Andy Bernard from "The Office".  That shit it real.

3) Runners are slobs.  After the race, the streets of Chicago were littered with banana peels, sponges, and those who could not finish.

4) It's not a racist or stereotypical comment if it's true.

5) Cops from the South side know nothing about the North side (and so it should remain for all time).

6) iPhones have the worlds most annoying alarm feature.  I thought my friend's apartment was on fire.

7) Those who dare to run while dressed like national monuments get the loudest cheers.

8) Cold pot stickers from Jewel at 10:00 a.m. are mighty tasty.

9) Just because the label says Tonic Water that doesn't mean the bottle contains Tonic Water.

10) My friend Kate truly is my hero for running her first marathon, finishing, and still having the strength to go out for deep dish pizza afterwards.

~ The Office Scribe

Hollywood Has No Idea What A Persian Looks Like

When I hear the word Persian, the first thing I think of is this:

Then maybe followed by this:

I don't think this:

Or this:

Take note Hollywood.  Take note.

~ The Office Scribe

Omegle Quiz #1: Name Your Favorite Planet

For those of you who don't know, here is the description of what Omegle is, straight from the site:

Omegle is a great way of meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.

So last night I decided to try it out.  And when I got tired of guys offering to show me their junk, I decided to start a little poll.  I asked the random people a question and here are the answers I received:

Name your favorite planet:

Uranus: 6 (No surprise here)

Mars: 5

Jewipiter: 1 (That is how the guy spelled it)

Cirus: 1 (I questioned the answer and the stranger replied: It will be one day)

Earth: 1

Pluto: 1

Immediate Disconnects*: 11

This was fun, so check back in occasionally for more Omegle polls.

~ The Office Scribe

* I can only assume these were people who weren't interested in planets but, as mentioned earlier, in wanting to show me their junk.

AFI #99 (1998): Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Title: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Year: 1967
Director: Stanley Kramer
Staring: Spencer Tracy, Sidney Poitier, Katherine Hepburn

Plot: A couple is put to the test when their daughter brings home a fiance who is black.

Have I Seen It Before: No

Do I Own It: No

Famous Line: I don't think I'm going to faint, but I'll sit down anyway.

Fun Fact: Katharine Hepburn's character's daughter is played by her real life niece Katharine Houghton. (Thanks to my mom for supplying me with that tidbit of knowledge.)

Any Mention of Illinois? Sadly, I think the talk of teaching in Geneva was about the one in Switzerland.

Five Thoughts I Had While Watching This Film:

1) As a parent I don't think my main concern would be the difference in race. I would be more concerned about the age gap, he'd been married before, short time they had known each other, and getting married in a foreign country.

2) Spencer Tracy is adorable in this film and totally reminded me of James Whitmore, which, as I found out from IMDB, is a common thought.

3) Holy cow, didn't they made a modern day version of this with Ashton Kutcher and that chick from "Avatar"?  Why, oh why, would they have done that?

4) I need a sassy housekeeper.  As much as I like to cook, I want one for the snappy banter.  (I also want a British butler - but that has nothing to do with this movie and more to do with Batman.)

5) How did I make it through almost 2 years of studying film, and taking black history and writing classes, and not see this movie?  Sure, they made me read The Bluest Eye every semester, but I didn't get to see this fabulous flick.

This movie deserves to be on this list if for nothing more than it takes place in the span of a day, which most of my fav movies tend to do.  (Okay, so Twister was more like 2 days, but who's counting?)

Next up: #99 (2008) Toy Story

~ The Office Scribe

AFI #100: Yankee Doodle Dandy

Title: Yankee Doodle Dandy
Year: 1942
Director: Michael Curtiz
Staring: James Cagney, Joan Leslie, Walter Houston

Plot: The life story of composer, playwright, dancer and singer George M. Cohan

Have I Seen It Before: Yes

Do I Own This Movie: No

Famous Line: My mother thanks you.  My father thanks you.  My sister thanks you.  And I thank you.

Fun Fact!:  George M. Cohan picked James Cagney to play him.

Any Mention of Illinois: Yes! Family was waiting at a train station in Illinois and remarked about how cold it was in Spring!

Five Thoughts I Had While Watching This Movie:


1) The did a fantastic job aging people.  This movie was made in 1942, about 123 years before the invention of computers and long before The Curious Case of Benjamin Button won an Oscar.  The people actually looked old.  Take that CGI!

2) Actors back in the day had to be hella talented.  They could sing, dance, and act.  And it made me realize that, according to these standards, Zac Efron is the most talented human in the world.  DAMN YOU DISNEY!

3) I did phase out at one point and become more interested in checking my Twitter feed.  I mean, I love a musical number but come on.

2) God bless the crazy, frenetic delivery of the actors.  They sped through the dialog so fast if you weren't paying attention, you'd miss something.  But it was also incredibly realistic.  In real life, people actually do talk fast.

1) Women wore hats back in those days and I really wish we still did.  I want to walk around with a smart little piece of miller work on my hat while having cocktails wit the girls at 21.

Overall, I like the movie, but like I said, it did drag a bit.  Of course, I think that is because I was raised in a society where things generally explode in movies every 15 minutes to keep people interested.  Sadly, this movie had no explosions.

~ The Office Scribe