Monday, December 12, 2011

Songs I Don't Want To Like

For the past oh, 3 days or so, I have had the song "Red Solo Cup" by Toby Keith stuck in my head.  I attribute this to a cousin singing it at the family Christmas party this weekend.  Trouble is - I don't like country music and I really have something against Toby Keith because of a horrible incident at pub trivia a few years back.  So I have two solid reasons not to like this song, but damn it if it's everything I can do to not download it off iTunes.  So this got me thinking about all the songs I don't want to like but do.

1) Red Solo Cup - Toby Keith
It's a cardinal sin to shout an answer out loud at trivia, but I accidentally did this one night (after a few Black & Tans) and the answer was 'Toby Keith".  This indiscretion has haunted my for years.

2) Anything by Lady Gaga
I am not usually a pop music kinda person.  But damn that woman is talented - creepy outfits not standing.

3) All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
It's WAY too over played on all the holiday music stations but each time it comes on in the car, I find myself singing along.  Of course, this is only when I am alone in the car, as I would never subject anyone to my singing.

4) Anything by Kanye West
The dude is a huge douche but in along the same vein as Lady Gaga, I can't get past his talent when it comes to music.

5) Neutron Star Collision - Muse
Not so much because I don't like Muse (I think they are great) but because I inadvertently heard this song off an ad for a Twilight movie.  (((shudder)))

6) Milkshake by Kelis
Horrible song that I have ridiculously fond memories of from one time driving down the 405 with my mom and two of her coworkers.

7) Incomplete by The Backstreet Boys
I feel like I am cheating on NKOTB every time I listen to this song.

8) All The Things She Said by T.A.T.U.
You remember this song - I know you do.  It was by those faux Russian lesbians.  Enough said.

9) Du Hast by Rammstein
It's angry.  It's German.  And it reminds me of high school.

10) Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp
Because of this song I now have the entire "Best of Supertramp" on my computer.  Drinking and downloading is a dangerous thing.

And perhaps the most popular (I bet you all know it/have sung it/own it) song of all time:

11) I Will Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
The lyrics make no sense.  The music video is uber-confusing.  But when I die this is going on my funeral mix list.

Feel free to contribute in the comments section.

~ The Office Scribe

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Proof That I Read My E-Mails: Gibby Goo Bop

I just logged on to check the e-mail account that I use for my blogs and Twitter and saw an e-mail from someone named Gibby Goo Bop.  My initial thought was penis enlargement drugs from Thailand, but I clicked anyway.  Here is the e-mail...

Subject: Scribey! Everybody will snooze blue...

hi office scribe!

asleep under the desk?  funny, me too!

i'll sleep under my desk!  and i'll sleep in the loo!!

everybody will snooze blue

so I made this video just for you…


Against my better judgement, I clicked on the YouTube link, and instead of finding a request from Chris Hansen to "take a seat over there" I was treated to the following music video, entitled "Strife on Mars?"

I won't even pretend to understand it, and I am pretty sure by posting it I am spreading the secret message imbedded within the lyrics and recruiting for this guys cult, but what the hell?  I feel the need to be directly involved in possibly one of the greatest viral self promotions wacky lyricists have ever thought of.

So, remember, don't drink the Kool-Aid and, um, enjoy?

~ The Office Scribe

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Horror Movie Survival Tip #1

Every so often I will present you, my readers, with tips that if taken into consideration, could help you survive a horror movie, or a similar situation.  I like you guys, and don't want to lose any of you to a random act of slashing that could have been avoided.

Horror Movie Survival Tip #1

Never use so much bubble bath that you can't see the bottom of the tub.

See: Nightmare on Elm Street, Slither

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Total "Eclipse" of My Sanity

I have been joking recently that stress at work may cause me to lose my mind before the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

Last night was the first sign that my psyche is waning - I watched "Eclipse".

Well, first I watched "Die Hard".  And after I watched "Super Troopers".

So I guess I am not a lost cause yet.

Or am I?

~ The Office Scribe

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

10 Things I Learned at the Chicago Marathon

1) While running 26.2 miles it a true test of endurance, a truer test of endurance is how long one can remain on a stalled "L" train, packed like a sardine with hundreds of tourists, before the pry open the doors and see how dangerous that third rail really is.

2) "Bloody nipples" is not just a joke made by Andy Bernard from "The Office".  That shit it real.

3) Runners are slobs.  After the race, the streets of Chicago were littered with banana peels, sponges, and those who could not finish.

4) It's not a racist or stereotypical comment if it's true.

5) Cops from the South side know nothing about the North side (and so it should remain for all time).

6) iPhones have the worlds most annoying alarm feature.  I thought my friend's apartment was on fire.

7) Those who dare to run while dressed like national monuments get the loudest cheers.

8) Cold pot stickers from Jewel at 10:00 a.m. are mighty tasty.

9) Just because the label says Tonic Water that doesn't mean the bottle contains Tonic Water.

10) My friend Kate truly is my hero for running her first marathon, finishing, and still having the strength to go out for deep dish pizza afterwards.

~ The Office Scribe

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hollywood Has No Idea What A Persian Looks Like

When I hear the word Persian, the first thing I think of is this:

Then maybe followed by this:

I don't think this:

Or this:

Take note Hollywood.  Take note.

~ The Office Scribe

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Omegle Quiz #1: Name Your Favorite Planet

For those of you who don't know, here is the description of what Omegle is, straight from the site:

Omegle is a great way of meeting new friends. When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other. Chats are completely anonymous, although there is nothing to stop you from revealing personal details if you would like.

So last night I decided to try it out.  And when I got tired of guys offering to show me their junk, I decided to start a little poll.  I asked the random people a question and here are the answers I received:

Name your favorite planet:

Uranus: 6 (No surprise here)

Mars: 5

Jewipiter: 1 (That is how the guy spelled it)

Cirus: 1 (I questioned the answer and the stranger replied: It will be one day)

Earth: 1

Pluto: 1

Immediate Disconnects*: 11

This was fun, so check back in occasionally for more Omegle polls.

~ The Office Scribe

* I can only assume these were people who weren't interested in planets but, as mentioned earlier, in wanting to show me their junk.