Friday, January 30, 2009

Keep Your Cash Cow Locked Up – Or At Least Fully Clothed

I was cruising around the internet today and stumbled upon pictures of Miley Cyrus rocking some side-boob action. Sure I could post the pictures here or you could visit one of the dozen or so websites that have the pictures. Now as a female I know we all have the occasional wardrobe malfunction but I don’t remember a lot of them happening before the age of 18. And I think Miss Hannah Montana is somewhere in the range of “just became a legal driver”.

All I want to know is what the hell are Billy Ray and his non-famous wife thinking?

If my kid single handily resurrected my post-mullet career with a freaking Disney show, numerous concerts and enough money to put the Sultan of Brunei to shame there is no way I would let her out of the house in the outfits MC has been wearing. When she was seen in public she would be dressed in clothes that came from a short list of approved vendors, such as:

Gymboree




American Girls





Inuit-R-Us





Something from the Cask of Amontillado Collection



And when you do go track down the pictures as I am sure you will (though warning: Any male over the age of 18 who looks at this photos I am pretty sure Chris Hanson will be asking you to “take a seat” real soon…”) make sure you actually take notice of the FUGLY shirt that she is wearing. Like I told a co-worker, when things are that ugly I assume it was given to het by a “special” kid from a summer camp she was forced to visit by Mickey Mouse armed with an assault rifle.

Reason #346 why I am never having kids: Side Boob

~The Office Scribe

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