Why My Liver Hates "Twilight"

Did you happen to catch the MTV Movie Awards this evening? (Which are still going on because awards shows go one for WWWAAAAYYYY too long...)

I did.  And before you go all judgemental on me for watching them know that I do so because of the previews for the movies that are coming out.  But the one movie I was not looking forward to the preview of "New Moon".

(Note: I tried to find a poster for this movie but all I could find were crappy ones made by fans with lackluster PhotoShop skills.)

In case you have been living under a rock or perhaps attending a Mensa meeting for the past year or so, "New Moon" is the sequel to "Twilight"; that movie about disco ball vampires in the Pacific Northwest.  Well it is much anticipated and a lot of people were tuning into tonight show in order to see the clip from the new movie.

So I knew there would be some chatter about the movie but dammit, I didn't expect the title of the movie to be mentioned every three seconds.  It was like a two-hour commercial for "Twilight".  If I had been playing the MTV Movie Awards "Twilight" Drinking Game I would be dead from alcohol poisoning right now.

Which might be better than having to put up with through the hype for the movies for books three and four...

~The Office Scribe

Okay, Who Was It???

WARNING:  THIS IS THE SAME POST THAT IS OVER AT ASLEEP UNDER MY DESK SO IF IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR THAT IS WHY...

So today I get an e-mail from someone telling me they saw my blog mentioned in an article on USA Today.   

Curious, I asked what article he was looking at.

He came back and told me it had something to do with "Jon and Kate Plus 8" being faked and talking about Kate's sisters blog and I guess the author of the article mentioned my blog because they are one of my readers.

So the question is:  Which one of you fools is writing about me in USA Today and not letting me know?  I love seeing my name in print (I'll blog about the MSNBC post* soon).

Just let me know in the comments or drop me a line at TheOfficeScribe@yahoo.com because I spent an hour trying to track down this article with no luck.  So seeing as how Google failed me I need your help.

And to anyone else that wants to write about me, that is cool, just let me know.  I like to print things off for my mom to hang on her fridge.

~The Office Scribe

* Oh yeah, I was interviewed by MSNBC.com.  I didn't mention that?  Hmm.  Imagine that...

911 or Penthouse Letters?

So here I am, just chilling out at my desk, doing some much needed writing when I start to hear what can only be described as a string of impassioned "No! No! No!"'s coming from another condo.

Of course, then the dark side of me thinks perhaps they were being stabbed to death.  (I know, this is what I get for watching 3 seasons of "Bones" in a few weeks."

So the questions is:  Do I call 911 or write a letter to Penthouse?

As of right now the noise stopped, but I bet it went on for a good 2-3 minutes.  And just when I would think "Something sounds wrong" the tone would change and I know my pasty Irish ass was blushing.

The main reason I am not that concerned is that several other neighbors were walking into the building and unless they were members of the deaf family on the 4th floor they had to have heard it and didn't seem that concerned.  So I guess I will un-mute my TV and just go back to writing.

~The Office Scribe

There Is No Dana Only Zool... In My Fridge

Okay, sometimes I hear noises coming from my fridge.  And not like the sound of the compressor turning on, but like of things falling over or moving.  Sure, I could assume that it is just a random bag of asparagus falling over, but one day I am convinced that I am going to open my fridge and see something like this:

And will I panic?

No, I will just be stoked that a childhood fantasy has come true!

~The Office Scribe

Bonus points if eggs start jumping out of the carton and cooking themselves on my counter like I live in a Benihana!!!

National Nerd Day: May the 4th Be With You

In honor of Star Wars Day I thought I would share some fun Star Wars facts about yours truly.

1) Sometime during my freshman year in high school I developed a love for Darth Vader.  Why?  Because every girl wants someone tall, dark, and voiced by the same guy who says "This is CNN"

2) One of the best birthday presents I ever received was a full size Darth Vader standup.  Here is a picture of him in my shower at my last party.

3) Another great birthday present - An autographed poster of Darth Maul signed by Ray Park my friend got me from a ComicCon.  Well, I guess it wasn't a birthday present because my friend gave it to me in July and my birthday is in February.  But when I asked him why it said "Happy Birthday, Love Ray Park" he told me he panicked when Mr. Park asked him what to write.

4) The year Episode I came out, the one with Darth Maul, I went to Toys R' Us and bought myself a double-sided Light Saber.  And I carried it around everyday in school until the movie came out.  And the strange thing is, I wasn't really a nerd in high school.  I was just really, really weird.

5) My car license plate has a reference to Darth Vader on it.  Because nothing says "Welcome to the Dark Side" like a salsa-red Dodge Neon.

6) I own the Star Wars Christmas album.

7) I do a really good impression of a Wookie.  Ask my mom.

8) According to some website I just Googled, my Star Wars name is Amanma Kohin, Norcho of Bor

9) The only beach towels I own have Star Wars characters on them.

10) My mom bought me a Darth Vader mask that changed my voice for Christmas one year.  I was 18 when she got it for me.

So yeah, I am not so much a Star Wars fan as much as I am a Darth Vader & Darth Maul fan.

'Cause those guys are hotties.

~The Office Scribe