Saturday, January 9, 2010

I Don't Think I'm An Avatard

The movie with the biggest buzz of the year and I didn't really want to see it.  Odd?  Yes, considering I am a glutton for anything cinematic.  I saw the trailers and watched the HBO making of the movie special.  And while I was extremely impressed with the way in which the movie was filmed, it still didn't make me want to see it.

But then Chris, my friend I have known since high school and who I love to go to movies with, asked if I wanted to go see it this past week.  So I succumbed and agreed to see the movie.  We decided to go big or go home and went to see it on the IMAX in 3D. (Luckily I live like 5 minutes from a theater which shows it in this format.)  And while the tickets were $15 (yowza!) Chris paid for mine as part of my birthday present from last year.

So here are my thoughts on Avatar, in no particular order:

- The 3D glasses they made us wear not only made us look like Harey Carey after a bender but made my eyes hurt so much the next day I don't think I will ever watch a movie in 3D again.  Thanks Avatar for ruining The Amityville Horror 3 for me.

- The visuals in the movie were breathtaking, even if they forest floor of the planet Pandora was made from the same material as a disco floor.

- I understand that some of the scenes were dramatic but just as I was about to get into the story I realized that the drama was being played out by 11 foot blue people and I dissolved into giggles.

- Sigourney Weaver, who is an amazing actress, was the best part of the movie by far.  Except when she was a blue person dressed like someone from the Stanford Ultimate Frisbee Team.

- Sam Worthington is hot but his legs were wicked skinny.  I really REALLY hope that they were digitally wilted because otherwise that guy has some chicken legs.

- I get the connection with Aliens, but did we really need to see the walking robot suits again?  Made me think Mr Cameron was running out of ideas.

- I was a little uncomfortable with all the blue nudity.  Why is it that humans seem to be the only species in the universe to have invented chinos?

- Trying to read subtitles for a made-up language while wearing 3D glasses is not easy.

- That was one big ass tree.

- I had a brief panic attack at the end of the movie when the credits began to roll because I thought Celine Dion was singing and I started to have a horrible Titanic flashback.

So, in conclusion, it was a pretty movie but with a basic, predictable plot which won't do well on video since the format to see it in is big screen.  I tell people to not see it in 3D since it isn't that 3D-ish.

Or you could scrap it all together and just watch old episodes of The Smurfs because they at least had a sweet villain.

I give it 5 out of 10 paperclips.

~ The Office Scribe

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